How To Prevent Daily Conflicts
By: Rebecca
Humanities 3
In order to prevent conflicts from escalating into bigger conflicts we have to be able to know how to efficiently prevent a daily conflict. A daily conflict can be classified as a small dispute between neighbors, family members, friends or somebody you just happen to run into one day. Disputes like this may not affect the world but if you let the problem escalate it can turn into a dispute that does. This is why we need to learn how to prevent “daily disputes”.
There are many ways of preventing conflict, usually you will find that one method works better for you than others, it all depends on what type of person you are. The most common methods are: talk it out, yoga and reflecting.
Talk it out. This is probably the most commonly used method to solving conflicts or disputes on a local scale and even on an international scale. Telling the other person what is bothering you is a good way to let them now how you feel because if they know what is bothering you, they may be able to put themselves in your shoes. When people are in verbal fights they tend to attack their opponent with insults or name-calling. This just makes the other person want to fight back and hurt their opponent either physically or verbally. A tip to stop yourself from fighting back with a punch or an insult is take a few relaxing breathes and then lower your voice and make its softer and slower. Raising your voice tends to make the other person believe that you are mad. If you still can’t agree after trying to see everything from the other person’s objective or lowering your voice try to come up with a compromise. (http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/PreventingConflicts.html)
Yoga. The technique of using yoga to prevent your conflicts or battles is an old tradition at least in some parts of the world. You are unable to meditate or clear your mind and focus on just breathing if you are angry that is why meditation prevents anger. To try this method all you need is to sit down on the floor, for comfort you should sit yourself down on a rug, in cross-leg position and clear your mind. When you are thinking of almost nothing you start taking deep breathes, breathing in through your nose and then slowly letting the air out of your nose. Repeating this for just about three minutes when you are feeling upset or angry should relax you and you can then effectively discuss your problems. Some people are unable to relax while doing yoga because they do not feel comfortable just letting everything go. (http://ezinearticles.com/?Yoga-Solutions-For-Anger-Management---Meditation-Practice-for-Energy-Channeling&id=780904)
Reflecting. Most people do not like reflecting because they find it uncomfortable evaluating themselves or their performance. However when you have had an argument it is wise to reflect on it. Some of the points that you can go over are:
- Did I provoke anger in the other person? How?
- Was I angry for an actual reason?
- Was I overreacting?
- How should I have said this?
- How can I explain to them why I did this?
Avoid questions that lead you to why the other person was saying things that according to you were unnecessary. Focus on you and your faults and blames in the argument. However do try to put your self in their shoes, and ask yourself “How would I have felt if someone had said to me what I said to her?” Questions like these help you understand how they felt, which may help you solve the conflict. (http://careertrack.com/mkt_info/seminars/desc/EC.asp)
The ‘Oxford Dictionary of Current English’ defines conflict like this, “Conflict n. – a lack of agreement between opinions, principles, etc.” You can’t force somebody to share your opinions or share the same principals or values and they can’t force you either. If you do get in an argument remember, talk it out, explain to them why what they said or did bothered you so much. Yoga, practice your deep breathing clear your mind of all your problems and just focus on your breathing. Reflect, get away from the person who is bothering you and reflect on if you did or said the right things to prevent conflict or did they just provoke conflict instead. Do this and hopefully you will be able to take control of your anger and keep conflicts from escalating.
By: Rebecca
Humanities 3
In order to prevent conflicts from escalating into bigger conflicts we have to be able to know how to efficiently prevent a daily conflict. A daily conflict can be classified as a small dispute between neighbors, family members, friends or somebody you just happen to run into one day. Disputes like this may not affect the world but if you let the problem escalate it can turn into a dispute that does. This is why we need to learn how to prevent “daily disputes”.
There are many ways of preventing conflict, usually you will find that one method works better for you than others, it all depends on what type of person you are. The most common methods are: talk it out, yoga and reflecting.
Talk it out. This is probably the most commonly used method to solving conflicts or disputes on a local scale and even on an international scale. Telling the other person what is bothering you is a good way to let them now how you feel because if they know what is bothering you, they may be able to put themselves in your shoes. When people are in verbal fights they tend to attack their opponent with insults or name-calling. This just makes the other person want to fight back and hurt their opponent either physically or verbally. A tip to stop yourself from fighting back with a punch or an insult is take a few relaxing breathes and then lower your voice and make its softer and slower. Raising your voice tends to make the other person believe that you are mad. If you still can’t agree after trying to see everything from the other person’s objective or lowering your voice try to come up with a compromise. (http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/PreventingConflicts.html)
Yoga. The technique of using yoga to prevent your conflicts or battles is an old tradition at least in some parts of the world. You are unable to meditate or clear your mind and focus on just breathing if you are angry that is why meditation prevents anger. To try this method all you need is to sit down on the floor, for comfort you should sit yourself down on a rug, in cross-leg position and clear your mind. When you are thinking of almost nothing you start taking deep breathes, breathing in through your nose and then slowly letting the air out of your nose. Repeating this for just about three minutes when you are feeling upset or angry should relax you and you can then effectively discuss your problems. Some people are unable to relax while doing yoga because they do not feel comfortable just letting everything go. (http://ezinearticles.com/?Yoga-Solutions-For-Anger-Management---Meditation-Practice-for-Energy-Channeling&id=780904)
Reflecting. Most people do not like reflecting because they find it uncomfortable evaluating themselves or their performance. However when you have had an argument it is wise to reflect on it. Some of the points that you can go over are:
- Did I provoke anger in the other person? How?
- Was I angry for an actual reason?
- Was I overreacting?
- How should I have said this?
- How can I explain to them why I did this?
Avoid questions that lead you to why the other person was saying things that according to you were unnecessary. Focus on you and your faults and blames in the argument. However do try to put your self in their shoes, and ask yourself “How would I have felt if someone had said to me what I said to her?” Questions like these help you understand how they felt, which may help you solve the conflict. (http://careertrack.com/mkt_info/seminars/desc/EC.asp)
The ‘Oxford Dictionary of Current English’ defines conflict like this, “Conflict n. – a lack of agreement between opinions, principles, etc.” You can’t force somebody to share your opinions or share the same principals or values and they can’t force you either. If you do get in an argument remember, talk it out, explain to them why what they said or did bothered you so much. Yoga, practice your deep breathing clear your mind of all your problems and just focus on your breathing. Reflect, get away from the person who is bothering you and reflect on if you did or said the right things to prevent conflict or did they just provoke conflict instead. Do this and hopefully you will be able to take control of your anger and keep conflicts from escalating.
Sources:
1. http://careertrack.com/mkt_info/seminars/desc/EC.asp
2. http://ezinearticles.com/?Yoga-Solutions-For-Anger-Management---Meditation-Practice-for-Energy-Channeling&id=780904
3. http://www.oecd.org/document/32/0,3343,en_2649_37413_33800800_1_1_1_37413,00.html
4. http://www.goodcharacter.com/BCBC/PreventingConflicts.html
5. http://www.sais-jhu.edu/cmtoolkit/approaches/conflictprevention/index.html
6. http://www.conflictprevention.net/
7. http://imtd.org/cgi-bin/imtd.cgi
8. http://www.soniabrillconsulting.com/Default.aspx?tabid=694
9. Oxford Dictionary of Current English